Checklist Before Heading Out for a First Date
Never Ever Be Late
First dates are very exciting. With butterflies in your stomach and adrenaline pumping through the veins, one usually becomes extremely conscious of what to and what not to do. There are some important points one must keep in mind to ensure an amazing first date.
One of the most important being punctuality. There is a lot of thought that goes into answering the question of when to arrive. While arriving too early can seem to show desperation on one’s end, arriving late can convey a certain amount of disinterest, neither of which is desirable for a date.
In any case, arriving late is the worse choice of the two. Not only can the waiting time make your date restless but it can reduce the chances of it working out because too much waiting time can lead to the sparks or expectations dying out. Not being on time can make stale what could otherwise be a very fun and exciting date. At other times being a little late is understandable but in the case of first dates, there is a lot of apprehension and judgment involved. Therefore, it is always advisable to be on time or better even slightly before.
Do Your Research Beforehand: What to Wear and What to Talk About
Another important question can be deciding what to wear. It is advisable not to over think in this situation. People often tend to choose to overdress for a first date. There are several things one needs to consider here. The priority should be given to comfort over anything else. If you are not comfortable on your first date, it will certainly translate through your body language. You can consider the ongoing weather condition to help you make this choice. It is important to be comfortable and confident in what you wear; that is most likely going to impress your date more than anything else.
The next thought that arises is regarding what you should or should not talk about. A lot depends on this factor. It is key to try to keep the conversation as natural and organic as possible. Pretense in conversation doesn’t only make it look like one is trying too hard but also gives a fake impression to the other person which is definitely not desired here. People often tend to gravitate around the same generic questions with the same expected clichéd answers. Even though this might be the safer option, it does little to help you to get to know the other person better.
It can be interesting to start with a casual conversation and then take a plunge into asking about your date’s preferences and previous dating life. Such a conversation can be exciting for both and prevent the situation from turning obligatory and boring. Then you can go ahead to talk about a variety of this that are common in interest to both once the ice has been broken and there is a comfortable conversation flowing. It is also important to consider what your date is comfortable speaking about. It is best to avoid pre-rehearsed conversations or say something irrelevant which the other person does not appreciate.
Dressing for a first date can be extremely stressful as there is a lot of pressure and expectations from both parties. An outfit here is not only a dress but is synonymous with how you feel about yourself. It is understandable as to why so much thought is given over this decision. The right kind of an outfit will not only ensure that you are presentable for your date but also enhance your confidence tenfold which will ultimately show through your body language as an added bonus.
Keep the following in mind when choosing the attire for your first date:
- Comfort is key: You should choose to wear something that you are the most comfortable in. A first date can as such be stressful and you sure do not want to add to it by wearing something that is uncomfortable. If you plan to engage in some sports activity or some other activity be sure to choose an outfit accordingly.
- Suit the occasion: Your dress should be suitable for the place you’re wearing it to. You might feel the need to appear attractive by wearing your finest threads, but if a particular outfit does not suit the environment then the entire purpose of this will be useless. You should also be sure to remove the tags and stickers in case you happen to buy new clothes for your date
- Reflection of your personality: It is very important to remember that the outfit is just an added bonus to your personality. You still happen to be the hero of the show. Even though it is important to wear clean and comfortable clothes to any date but it for sure isn’t the most important deciding factor for the date.
Have a Plan for the Date
It is an age-old dilemma when it comes to deciding on what to do and how to behave during a date. Some may say it is best to have a plan, however, it is important for your conversation to not sound like a rehearsed speech. This usually has a negative impact on the date. It is better to go with general topics for conversation than opt for some pre-rehearsed joke that has a very good chance of not working out. The key here is to maintain a natural flow of conversation that does not sound fake. Mincing your words too much can give the impression of trying too hard which definitely isn’t desirable on a date.
Another common mistake that most people make here, is following the ‘playing hard to get’ strategy. They always wait for the other person to make the first move. It is backed by research that being direct is a more effective way to show someone you like them than dropping subtle hints. If you want to go on another date, say it directly rather than beating around the bush. Frankness and honesty are very attractive in a first date scenario.
Don’t overwork yourself with the possibilities and the impression game. It is best to stick to some basics and impromptu the rest. It is also important that none of these rules be taken too seriously. They are only helpful as far as boosting your confidence is concerned. If the situation demands otherwise you must do the necessary and oblige.
Be a Gentleman
It isn’t all that hard to do good for a first date. You just need to be a gentleman. A lot might have changed about dating over the years; the more popular dates now include getting together for a couple of drinks or a more brief and non-formal kind of a date. Most people prefer not going to a fancy four or five-star restaurant for the first dates anymore, they like to keep it simple and be comfortable.
The one thing that has not changed in all these years is the fact that no matter how much they swoon over bad boys, at the end a girl always wants a gentleman. There are some small etiquettes one can keep in mind when trying to be a gentleman like picking your date up if you’re going out and holding the door open for her, holding the chair to help her sit, etc. You don’t need to go through a manual to be a gentleman, it is just these simple gestures that are enough to impress her.
Bring a Gift for Her on the First Date, and What Kind?
Give Her Something Inexpensive
When considering getting a gift it is important to remember the purpose of it. Getting a small inexpensive gift or something that she once spoke of, would be the right choice. Buying something too expensive for a first date might come across as flashy or desperate. It is the thought behind the gift that counts here. A simple flower or some chocolates would do just fine.
Your purpose is to make her feel that you care about the little things and not to show how much you can spend on her. Don’t end up buying something huge or cumbersome which can attract a lot of attention in a public space and embarrass her or could be difficult to carry. The key here is to keep it simple.
Small Gifts Work Best
It can be an extremely pleasing gesture to pick up a small gift for your date. The gift should be well-suited to the occasion you are buying it for. For a small informal date you can consider getting some eatables or a small stuffed toy, for a more formal occasion flowers or chocolates would be more appropriate. The physical size matters too; if you are not picking her from home, she has to carry the gift with her so it should be small enough for her to slip it inside her bag.
The purpose here is to convey your thought behind the gift and not give something too expensive or huge for a first date. Another awkward situation that arises is when to give the present. It totally depends on the situation and how quickly the ice is broken between the two. Hand out the gift once you think the situation is comfortable enough. If you are planning on going to a fair or mall together; it can be a good idea to buy a gift during the date. If it is too confusing for you, in any case, stick to the traditional box of chocolates. Taking a small gift can be a pleasant gesture and is sure to earn you brownie points on your first date.
Avoid Romantic Gifts
Some men are against the idea of bringing along a gift for justified reasons. They think the idea of bringing a gift can seem desperate or cheesy in the first place. It takes away from what you have to offer as a personality to what you can buy for her. If your date is expecting a casual meeting this could end up seeming too formal and hence become awkward.
The idea here is not to bring a romantic gift. Something particularly romantic can not only be extremely cheesy but can also be interpreted as too desperate for a first date. It is better not to gift something of that sort. Anything that makes the situation awkward or jeopardizes the date should not be done at this stage.
Personalised Gifts Can Be Very Charming
If you’ve started dating an old friend, the idea of getting a personalized gift can be interesting. If you’ve known each other for a while, you’re likely to know a lot of inside jokes and personal interests of your date. You can get a gift or a card according to her likes and dislikes. This might not be a very good idea if you don’t know each other well as it might come off as creepy.
You can find a gift in line with a particular hobby that your date takes a keen interest in or something small that had been on her mind for long. Paying attention to the small details is what matters here. Giving a personalized gift of utility can also be a very good idea. You have to think from a perspective of her likes and dislikes in this concern.
10 Gifts to Give a Girl on a First Date
The age-old traditional date present still doesn’t get old. Getting flowers for your date can hardly go wrong. A fresh bunch of flowers can lighten up your date’s day and can be a simple yet thoughtful gesture. You can bring a single flower if you want to keep it simple or you could go for a bunch of fresh flowers.
The freshest flowers are provided on Flower Aura. A bunch containing 10 yellow gerberas retails for Rs. 499. Yellow not only stands for the colour of friendship but can be a neutral and pleasant colour choice for a first date.
Small Box of Chocolate
Chocolates are the best option if you don’t know much about the other person beforehand. It can be an appropriate first date gift. Simple and inexpensive, chocolates are the most convenient gifts to carry in a public place. You have various options to choose from. You can either select one of dark or milk chocolate or go for a small box of chocolates with a combination of several varieties. It makes a perfect gift for a first date scenario.
Buy a small box but select the best quality chocolate available. Ferrero Rocher (24 pieces) retails at Rs.785 on Amazon. It is one of the best options available, highly popular and is also vegetarian. These multi-layered chocolates are of premium quality and are sure to light up your date’s day. If you want opt for a healthier option, then consider this gift pack that combines dark chocolates and almonds, available on Amazon for Rs. 360.
Journal or Notebook
You can choose your gift considering her hobbies. If she is a keen writer or keeps a journal, that could be neat present. Some of the most famous and influential people in history kept journals to document their lives. This can not only be helpful in decompressing but also can be encouraging a new productive hobby. It can form a creative outlet for her and hence form a utility present.
Order a Lauret Blanc Constellation Notebook from Amazon.in for a stationery enthusiast date with Rs 229 price. The notebooks are made of 80 gsm natural Italian paper with a cover of 300 gsm craft appear. The notebook has an HD printed cover for vibrancy which is laminated and embellished to provide an elegant look. It has 144 pages which are stitch-bound to keep the pages secure and also makes it easy to open and lay the pages flat for easy use. There's also a matching bookmark!
Small Origami Figures
Origami can be a creative hobby and if you know how to make some interesting figures you can make some to give her on the first date. You can choose a present related to such a hobby. You can even consider doing some origami together while on a date if the occasion is ideal for it. This can be a unique an innovative gift idea and is sure to impress your date.
Pick up a pack of origami paper, browse online for DIY tutorials and started folding and pleating. Practice a few times if you're new at it instead of giving her the results of your initial, clumsy efforts. We suggest a pack of Paper Plane Design Multiple Pattern Craft Sheets, 40 pre-cut sheets for crafting in very pretty printed patterns. This can be a small and sweet gift for your first date. Buy the paper for Rs.295 on Amazon.
If your date is an avid reader there is no better gift to give than the latest bestseller or one which you think she would enjoy reading. A book can not only convey thoughtfulness but you can also consider choosing books that convery a certain message. This can remind her of your thoughts and impress her while she is reading the book afterwards. You have more than plenty of options to choose from. The genre of book you choose will say a lot about you to your date.
You can browse through the collection of recommended books and bestsellers on Amazon.in. For instance, This Is Not Your Story by Savi Sharma retails at Rs.106. It is a beautiful inspiring story about an aspiring entrepreneur who gives his life another chance.
Another nice choice can be Chetan Bhagat’s One Indian Girl which retails at Rs.85 here; it is a modern story about a girl and it unfolds into how women should be empowered. Such a thoughtful present can be a very good choice for a first date.
Jewellry is extremely popular amongst the ladies. A simple necklace or bracelet can be a pleasant surprise for your date. Be sure not to opt for something too fancy or over the top. A simple piece of jewelry would be appropriate. This simple silverplated charm with stars is a cute option. Buy it on Amazon for Rs. 199
Want to do something different for someone who loves books? Then you can buy Charming: The magic of charm jewelry, a book about charms at Amazon.in for Rs.316. Charms have been a symbol of love and luck since ages. The book contains a list of anecdotes and is a perfect celebration of the history of charms. This can be a very elegant gift for a first date.
If you want to make more of an effort and show her you've been paying attention during all your conversations so far, have a personalised charm bracelet made. This one works if you know a few things about her, like her birthday, favourite colour, things she likes, etc.
We loved this dainty and oh so pretty personalised birthstone bracelet by Geo Minimalist on Etsy. It won't be very taxing on you as all you need is her birthstone and initials. The maker can customise it with stones and leaves; a single birthstone with no leaf will cost about Rs.2,000, adding a leaf with her initial will cost another Rs.300. You can have as many stones and leaves as you want but we suggest either one stone and leaf (priced at about Rs.2,300) or two of each with both her initials (at about Rs.3000).
A Soft Toy
If the girl you are going to meet has a fondness for soft toys - it would be easy to tell as she would have pictures of such toys on her social media pages or would have even posed with them in other pictures, then this is a great option. Stuffed toys and teddy bears are a good choice and an all-time favourite amongst most girls. You can take a small cute teddy bear to gift your date; it can be a very cute and simple gesture for a first date.
You can buy Teddy Bear Special Gift which retails at Rs.499 at Amazon.in. It is made out of a non-toxic polyester with excellent poly-staple and conjugate filling fiber to make it soft and lightweight. This can be the right stuffed toy for your date. You can also go for Tickles Polar Bear Stuffed Soft Plush Toy which retails at Rs.329. It is an attractive, soft, lightweight and colourful stuffed toy that is perfect for cuddling and can help to create a special memory for your first date.
Cool Fridge Magnet
A fridge magnet can be another cool gifting option. Not only will it be inexpensive and small but using it one her fridge can remind your date of the amazing time you spent together.
You can pick from a variety of options available at Amazon.in. One useful option is this cute Magnetic Memo which retails at Rs. 199. It is a notebook-shaped fridge magnet which can be used with a whiteboard marker for taking notes. It is smudge proof and a quality product. You can even consider writing a sweet message on it before gifting it to your date. Available on Amazon
DFS Premium Jack Daniel Big Bottle Shaped Bottle Opener and Fridge Magnet retails at Rs.145. It is shaped like a bottle opener and is available in vibrant colours. It can be a perfect utility gift for a first date. Yet another option is Soft toy Fridge Magnet, a set of cute multicoloured fridge magnet which retails at Rs.375. This can be an appropriate token gift for a first date.
Key rings can be utility gifts that are small yet inexpensive. It is not only a utility item but is also likely to be used by her often and can remind her of the wonderful time she had with you on the first date. Key rings sometimes include a calculator, bottle opener or a small torch and these added features makes your gift even more useful.
You can purchase a Young & Forever Inspirational Collection keychain which retails at Rs. 625 on Amazon.in. There are various varients available which includes 3 layered advanced gold plating from Germany. This can be an elegant gift which can be a good gesture for a first date. You can also buy Baybee Premium Bow Fabric Teddy Bear Key Chain which retails at Rs.299. This is a cute stuffed teddy bear toy key ring that can be an appropriate gift for a first date. It is a premium quality product that can be sweet gesture on a date.
Box of Homemade Cookies
Baked goodies can be a delicious gifting option for a date. You can bake these at home to convey a sweet gesture to your special someone. You can choose from a wide variety of options like a collection of biscotti, sugar cookies, shortbread cookies, bar cookies, and more, depending on your own range and skill as a baker.
A simple and easy recipe that you can follow is of a batch of crispy ginger cookies. You can follow this simple recipe to prepare delicious cookies for your date.
Crispy Ginger Cookies
What you need
- 2 and 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons ground ginger
- 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- A pinch of freshly ground black pepper
- 1 cup granulated sugar, divided
- 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
- 1 cup unsalted butter, softened but still cool
- 1 large egg
- 1/3 cup molasses
- Use a a medium bowl to mix all the ingredients, starting with butter and granulated sugar; use an electric mixer to beat the mixture. Add an egg and some molasses. Mix well and then add the dry ingredients. Prepare a dough to form cookies from a sheet and bake at 350 °F. Bake for 10-14 minutes and your delicious treat is ready.
Take Note: Etiquette for a First Date
Take Her Opinion
Keeping up with the conversations can be particularly hard on a first date. To avoid being in a situation where you don’t know what to talk about you must give importance to her interests and opinions. Finding out about her choices and opinions and engaging in a relevant conversation can set you apart from the other guys in this domain.
You should feel free to ask questions and take her opinion to create a lively and interesting conversation. That way you don't end up talking about yourself incessantly and show her your considerate side. The conversation should not be stagnant where only one person is speaking without the other showing any interest; it should be a two-way process and should be kept as natural as possible. You may have planned out the date in advance but ask her if she would perhaps like to do something else instead.
Get to Know Her
Dating, in general, involves a lot of expectations from both parties. There is a lot of room for discussion and getting to know the other person. You’re both anxious about this situation and at your end, you don’t know how she is expecting you to behave on the date.
A few basics are always a constant; offer to open the door for her and be courteous only as much as she finds comfortable. It is better to leave any dirty sense of humour back at home at least for the first date, you never know how she might react. She may not be vocal about it but most likely she is keeping a watch on your manners and body language so your etiquettes here play an important role.
Just make sure not be monotonous or appear to be boring as that can be a huge turn off for a first date. Let the conversation flow, ask whatever you want to but don’t stretch it to the extent of placing her in an interview box as that might get very awkward for her.
Avoid Using Your Phone
It is very important to seem as interested as you expect the other person to be. As nerve-wracking as the situation can be, do not use your phone as a distraction. It is understandable that when on a first date you constantly feel the need to update your friends about what is happening, but checking your phone frequently while on a date can not only be distracting but also make the other person feel very unwanted. This is a disaster for a first date.
Use your phone only for something genuinely important, other than that it is best to put it away. Put your phone on silent mode and give your entire attention to the girl you’ve decided to spend some time with. A quick message to a friend is acceptable but apart from that giving her undivided attention can actually become the factor that turns your date into a successful one.
Paying the Bill
After the date, it boils down to the question of who is going to pay. A few decades ago, the answer to this would have been simple, the man should expect to pay. However, in the present-day scenario there are two schools of thought - either she expects chivalry to the fullest, in which case you should pay or she is a modern-day feminist who expects to split the bill, where you should oblige accordingly.
The question of who pays can be a difficult one, and it is important for you to gauge the situation well to decide as this can be the final deciding factor for the date. It is best to offer to pay and then go from there accordingly. Even though traditionally it is expected that the men would pay the bills but the younger generation does not adhere to such gender norms and so it is really your judgment of the situation that can help you out here, on your first date.
Pay Attention to Detail
People often worry about making the right grand gestures when in reality women often take note of the little things, such as the way you address people around you, how you take effort to put her at ease, make appropriate eye contact, and wait for her to finish what she is saying. These finer details are what will endear you to her, make the date a success and even lead to a second date. Be yourself, but the best version of it.