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Why Good Parenting is Important
The parent-child relationship is a two-way road, or in simple words, communication is the key to good parenting. To develop effective parenting skills, understanding the needs and requirements of your child is imperative. Knowing to put the right boundaries across your child, things to encourage, and habits to discourage are the first step towards positive parenting. Children are like flowers, and with the right guidance and support, you can help them blossom into promising youth of the future.
Do's & Don'ts in Parenting
Let your child take the lead in small activities, give complete attention while you are playing with them, and keep away distractions like your smartphone. Don't ask them to do what you want them to do, but do whatever they want to do. You may be extremely busy throughout the day and tired in the evening, but 10 minutes of focused attention is what it takes to have that deep and positive relationship with your kid.
Praise your kids for the good things they do as it builds self-esteem and makes them happy, but avoid overdoing it else it may develop negative traits like ego, arrogance, and insecurity in the long run. Instead of praising the result, try to appreciate the action. Teach them to show gratitude in non-material pleasures like sunshine, nature, water, etc., and make them realize that we should be grateful for the things which we have. If required, make a list and ask them to thank the creator for the wonderful life he has provided. Before the day ends, ask them to name at least one good thing for which they have shown gratitude today.
Don't try to protect them from failures and let them learn a few things the hard way, early in their life. Let them understand that failures, falls, heartbreaks are all part of normal life, and they must have the courage and strength to fight and face the small problems of today to withstand the challenges of tomorrow. Keeping an eye on the kid is fine, but don't be extra protective and let them handle small problems on their own. Don't criticize their actions, which you don't like as it may de-motivate them for other positive things. Still, you can explain to them that a particular behavior or action is not acceptable, and you wouldn't like them to repeat the same.
Also, don't compare them with siblings or other kids as every child have individual strengths. Instead of scolding, set reasonable expectations as per their personality and appreciate the good things they do. Lastly, don't hide the negative or bad things from them and share stories about adversity and hardships along with positive stories so that they know about all the aspects of life.
Best Parenting Books You Can Buy in India
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
The duo of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is the 'No. 1 New York Times bestselling authors' and has written few famous books on parenting like 'How to Talk: Siblings Without Rivalry', 'How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk', 'How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be (How To Talk)' and few books in German, Spanish and Portuguese.
The book 'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk' is an effective guide for parents and includes time tested methods by the author as well as fresh insights and suggestions for building a strong and long-lasting relationship with your kids. After reading this book, you will have a better understanding of dealing with the negative feelings of your child, such as anger, frustration, and disappointment.
You'll be able to express your strong feelings without sounding rude and set the required boundaries for your child. Moreover, you will be able to engage your child in routine activities and develop self-discipline without punishing them. This book will give you insights about how to differentiate between helpful and unhelpful praise and resolve small conflicts peacefully. More than 5 million copies of this book are already sold, and the paperback version is available for Rs. 340 on amazon.in.
Siblings without Rivalry
One more bestseller book on parenting and understanding children by the duo of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish; 'Siblings without Rivalry - How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too is a New York Times bestselling book about improving the relationship between siblings.
Based on the real-life challenges faced by the authors who themselves are parents and how they handled the battle between siblings, the book offers wise insights and tools to parents which are required to cope up with the conflict between their two children, decrease competition and encourage participation in household works while cooperating with each other.
The book wisely explains with a pinch of humor that how and when should parents intervene in fights, how to channelize the energy of children towards creative aspects, and treat the children unequally without being unfair. You can order the paperback edition of this book from Flipkart for Rs. 1,442.
Spiritual Parenting
This book by Gopika Kapoor is an excellent guide book for parents as it talks in detail from conception to early childhood, as this phase starts a new journey in your life. Spiritual Parenting provides tried and tested simple advice with a blend of spirituality about raising children in a world full of competition, problems, etc., and still being calm and positive.
Gopika Kapoor is a mother of twins and has written books, including 'Spiritual Relationships: From the First Date to D-Day', 'Spiritual Pregnancy', 'Spiritual Success: Wisdom for the Boardroom and Beyond' and few books in Hindi and Marathi as well. Be it managing the tantrums of your toddler, teaching discipline, or suggestions about celebrating your kid's birthday party, she has touched almost every aspect of parenting. You can purchase his book from amazon.in for Rs. 325.
All You Need is Love: The Art of Mindful Parenting by Shelja Sen
One of the most acclaimed and praised books on parenting by the parents and written by Shelja Sen, who is author of one more book on parenting 'Imagine No Child Left Invisible: Building Emotionally Safe Spaces for Inclusive & Creative Learning'. In her book 'All You Need is Love: The Art of Mindful Parenting', she explains about accepting your child as he is and not to compare with others.
She also mentions how parents pressurize their children to complete their unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, which is unfair as every individual has their own capabilities and limitations. They should be given the freedom to choose their own path as per their best qualities. The writer emphasizes on the use of five anchors for effective parenting viz. Connect, Coach, Care, Community, and Commit in her book. This groundbreaking book is available on Flipkart for Rs. 267.
Keep Calm and Mommy On
Dr. Tanushree Singh has written popular books like Darkness, DK Indian Icons: CV Raman, Ani's Light, and The Missing Step. In her book 'Keep Calm and Mommy On', she had combined her academic knowledge with the practical experience she has gained being a mother of two teenagers.
She has covered a wide range of topics in her book, which include guidance about how to teach your kids to be polite, teaching them to complete their homework without nagging, dealing with teenage hormonal problems to helping your son/daughter deal with bullies. This useful parenting book is available for Rs. 265 on amazon.in.
The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
Dr. Shefali Tsabary is an internationally acclaimed author, clinical psychologist (doctorate from Columbia University, New York), and she organizes various workshops and courses on wisdom teaching online as well as in-person across the globe. She is an active speaker on TEDx talks and has written famous books on parenting like The Conscious Parent and Out of Control.
In the book The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting, she talks about the finer details of parenting which include controlling the expectations from children, living and embracing the present moment and let go of the anxiety which surrounds parents due to the pressure of being the best parent. You can purchase this book from drshefali.com.
Pregnancy Notes: Before, During & After
Rujuta Diwekar is a renowned nutrition and sports science expert and has won the 'Nutrition Award' from the Asian Institute of Gastroenterology. She has written several books on health and wellbeing like Strength Training, Lose Your Weight, Women and the Weight Loss Tamasha, Notes for Healthy Kids, etc. and gives personal coaching sessions to many famous celebrities and sportsmen like Kareena Kapoor, Anil Ambani, Varun Dhawan, and Anupam Kher to name a few.
In her book 'Pregnancy Notes: Before, During & After', she has given valuable notes which will help you prepare during your pre-pregnancy precautions and care during and post the pregnancy period. She has given a detailed explanation about exercise, diet, and recovery for each stage and also included the famous recipes of our country. The useful book for every woman who plans to raise kids is available on amazon.in.
I'm Pregnant, Not Terminally ill You Idiot!
Lalita Iyer owns an M. Pharm degree in Medicinal and Natural Products (Pharmacognosy) from the Institute of Chemical Technology, Mumbai, and has been associated with media houses and publications like Man's World, Hindustan Times and Filmfare.
She has written many Virtue Stories for children in the form of different books and books for women like 'The Whole Shebang: Sticky Bits of Being a Woman', 'Raising Mamma' and 'Sridevi'. I Am Pregnant, Not Terminally Ill you Idiot is a friendly book with a flavor of humor for the wannabe Mom's.
The author has narrated her experience on different stages of motherhood from conceiving to giving birth and raising an infant. The book is not about the diet and exercise or precautions for pregnant ladies but talks about the societal response and the feelings a pregnant lady has to go through, including advice from anyone and everyone to morning sickness and mood swings, etc. This enjoyable read for women can be ordered from Flipkart for Rs. 236.
The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success For Parents: Guiding your Children to success and Fulfilment
Deepak Chopra needs no introduction when it comes to spiritual books and coaching, a world-renowned spiritual coach, physician and author, Dr. Chopra has mentioned seven spiritual laws in a simple manner in this book which the parents can easily comprehend and imply in their life for becoming better parents. He has mentioned timeless wisdom with practical and thought-provoking ideas in the book 'The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents: Guiding your Children to success and Fulfilment', which can be purchased for Rs. 342 from amazon.in.
Passport to a Healthy Pregnancy
In the latest edition of her book 'Passport to a Healthy Pregnancy', author Dr. Gita Arjun (Director and Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at EV Kalyani Medical Centre, Chennai) provides detailed guidance about preconception counseling to clearing the air about many myths associated with it. This valuable book for would-be mothers can be purchased from Flipkart for Rs. 499.
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You Constantly Need to Take Initiative to Fill the Generation Gap Between You & Your Child!
You need to consider the generation gap between both of you and have to continually take initiatives and keep yourself updated to fill this gap. Moreover, don't forget to take out some time from your daily routine and talk to your kids. Talking to your child and observing them is a sure shot way to understand their habits, aptitude and attitude, etc. This will help you to learn about the way he expresses themself and what all factors are impacting his mental and physical health.