Being a Single Mother and Dating? Follow These Tips to Raise Your Child in 2020

Being a Single Mother and Dating? Follow These Tips to Raise Your Child in 2020

We are familiar with the feeling when our partner leaves our hand amidst the most crucial phase of our lives. But, life goes on! We must start looking at the bright side. Think of the smile on your child's face and you will get the required boost of motivation. Here, we present some practical ideas to raise your child into responsible adults, single-handedly!

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Things to Know about Being a Single Mother

Parenting is a huge task. On top of that, if you are a single mother, it can be quite a stressful process. Though it might look simpler to others, the truth is entirely the opposite. It takes a huge amount of effort to bring up kids and instill great values in them. Every parent out there strives to raise their children in the best way possible. However, when the scenario is of a single mother, the situation becomes all the more difficult.

Parenting becomes hard when just a single parent is involved the process. In true sense, single parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding jobs out there. On one hand, it can be quite challenging to handle, on the other hand, there is no greater joy in raising your child all by yourself. The road to single parenting can be full of obstacles but if that is what you choose for your child and yourself, you need to know certain facts about it.

You Will be the One in Command

When it comes to being a single mom, you ought to remember that you will be the only one whose decision will be final. All decisions pertaining to the household and your child will solely be yours. Be it decisions like which school your child will get into or simple things like what your child will eat, will all be decided by you. One of the best things about being a single mom is that you shall be the only one who can take decisions and impose them on your children. No other person has the right to influence your decisions or contradict your statements. You are the sole person who has the full right to make decisions for the betterment of your child.

Your Child Will Have Your Complete Attention

When you are a single mom, your child gets full attention from you. Earlier your love and care were divided between your spouse and child. Now you have all the time and love just for your child. Your kid has your undivided attention. These are some advantages that you will have after becoming a single mom. You can pay more attention to the life of your child.

You Can Choose to Manage the Finances

Being the one to take care of the household, you get to decide the finances of the house completely. You get to decide how much to spend on a particular subject and how much you need to save. There will be absolutely no one to interrogate you or interfere in your decisions. Whether it is the household duties or simply any amount of money that you plan on spending, you will be the only one to plan and make things work out.

Your Child Will Be Mature Much Earlier

As your child grows up and realizes the situation, they tend to become understanding. This leads to them maturing earlier. Additionally, being a single mother can be tiring and stressful at the same time which will require you to ask for help from your child. You start to teach your child to help out often. This is also a good way to teach them to be responsible early on. They start being independent and learn to get maximum work done from a small age.

You Are Not Dependent on Others

While you were with your ex, there are multiple tasks that are usually divided between both of you. For example, doing the laundry, getting groceries, looking into the activities of your children, making food, attending your child's school meeting, making time for yourself, looking into their homework are some of the jobs that are divided as to who will look after. But after being a single mom, you are no longer dependent on anyone for these tasks. Though it may seem to be a huge responsibility, the bright side is to never depend on others. Even though it might be a lot to handle, you will always be your own boss. You learn to manage these tasks all by yourself and also teach your child to help out with chores. This is a positive change in your life.

Single Mom and Dating

Raising a child is tough. So is dating especially when you are single parent. However, being a single mother should not stop you from exploring. It is true that dating is a big move that has an effect directly on your child and home. It is a crucial aspect that you should consider. Read on to know more about how you can balance raising a child alone and dating at the same time.

Start Only Once You are Ready

Remember, dating is not a race. It is no competition that you need to win. All the more when you are a single mother, you have to be extra cautious before meeting people again. Register your mind that there are good and bad people out there. You might face rejection or even positive responses. However, be well prepared for what's in store. Do not hurry to get into a relationship. Be strong enough to handle the setbacks that come along with it. Especially when you are divorced, it can be tough to go find love all over again. However, be positive and start only once you are ready for the same.

Eliminate the Feeling of Guilt

There is a high possibility that you might feel guilty for picking out yourself over your children. However, eliminate any such feelings at all. There is no second thought that your kids will always be your first priority. Similarly, there is nothing wrong with having your own personal time. A relationship adds much more meaning to life and your kids should not be the reason why you miss out on those. Though the social norms would want you to dedicate your life to kids, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you having a good time. Your kids will always be your first choice no matter what. Additionally, your kids need to know what a loving relationship looks like. You are their role model and it's up to you how you define a healthy relationship.

Be Honest with Your Kids

When the time is right, share the fact that you are dating to your kids. Make sure to never hide the fact that you are seeing someone. Try to be as open as possible. If you plan on hiding the truth, your kids might feel cut off from your life. Additionally, they might feel you aren't giving them the deserved attention. Hence, when you feel it's serious enough, have a close-talk with your children about your relationship. Your child needs to understand that you have a special someone in your life. Make them understand why you love spending time with the person and discuss their qualities. Most importantly, make sure to win over their trust. Also, let them know their space is not at risk. Tell your children that you shall always have them as your first priority.

Be Open with Prospective Dates

It is important to disclose about you being a mom in the initial stages of dating. If you have signed up on a dating platform, make sure to mention it up there that you are a mom. Being a single parent is actually what completes you. Hence, there is no need to hide the fact that you are a single mother. Though your opportunities will be reduced, the ones that actually come your way will be trustworthy and honest. Interestingly, there are a lot of single parents out there looking for a serious relationship. It is best to mention such facts in the first date itself as that builds trust between you and your partner.

Keep an Open Mind

Dating requires you to have an open mind, especially that you are a single mother. It is quite possible that you hit it off with people but find that magical spark missing. In such situations, do not get discouraged. Getting to know a person in and out takes time. Give time to yourself.

Tips to Raise Your Child As a Single Mother

Single parents are usually known to struggle with finances or have less health care facilities. However, being a single mother could be a decision taken for the better future of your children. Nothing should stop you from making good choices in life. You could be a single mother after having a nasty divorce or simply just be chosen. Here are some tips that will help you help in raising your child as a single parent.

Remember to Show Love

Kids who have separated parents usually lack self-esteem. In these situations, it is important to show your child unconditional love and support. Be through their side at all times and give them the love they require. It is crucial for you to shower them with extra love and care due to the circumstances. Additionally, they should never feel the absence of a parent. Give your child undivided attention every single day. Make it a priority to take out some time from your schedule to talk, play, or simply spend some quality time together.

Set a Schedule

Over time, create a schedule for your child. It should include daily activities like school time, playtime, quality time spending, helping with chores, studying, homework, and things like these. Creating a routine will help your child as well as let them know what to expect in a day. Routines should be created in such a way that you get enough time to spend with your child.

Set Rules

Since you are the sole person to make decisions, it is important to set rules and limitations. Let them know what you expect from them. Set house rules and regulations. Additionally, let them know they need to be followed strictly. Teach them to talk respectfully and help with small household chores. As it is important to shower them with love, you also need to teach them discipline too. It is crucial to set up a balanced act and perform accordingly. They should not feel under-loved. Additionally, they should have basic manners that are important to follow. On the other hand, you can set limits to eat healthily or limit their screen time.

Find Child Care

Since you are the sole breadwinner of the family, you cannot afford to sit at home when you have bills to pay. Hence, this will require you to find quality child care who will be babysitting for your child when you aren't around. Do not give this responsibility to your older child. Find a qualified babysitter with whom your kids are also comfortable. If you have any friends who are ready to look after your children, you can also look into that option.

Give Importance to Yourself

It is also very important to have your alone time. We get it that you are a single parent and it can be tough to find time for yourself. However, you should not compromise when it comes to your happiness. It is completely okay to have some quality time with yourself. Make sure to have a healthy diet, engage yourself in physical activities, and ensure that you get plenty of rest and sleep. Ensure that you take care of yourself. Never underestimate your health. You need to be in good health to take the utmost care of your children. Hence, never compromise in that aspect.

Take Help

There are many single parents out there who are ready to help you. You can join a single parents group and find help easily. There will be times when you will find being a single mom tough. However, being an active part of such groups will help you to be positive. Besides, you can also take help from your family or friends in times of need. There are multiple faith communities too that are of great help in such circumstances.

Be Positive

It is true that being a single mom can be tough. Being a single parent is a hard job. However, do not let anyone discourage you. Be your best and give your 100%. If you are going through a tough time, talk to your child, and let them know. Tell them that things will get better for sure. Give them the confidence that is required.

Sunandha Wilis
After spending 12 years in the hectic corporate world, Sunandha quit the industry to follow her passion for writing. She enjoys writing on a variety of subjects including travel, health, beauty, fashion and technology. Apart from writing she also dons the hat of an editor from time to time. Her time off is spent listening to music and wrestling with her boys.
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