Authoritarian Parenting: Do These Words Sounds Familiar to You?Tough Love and Its Effect on Kids.

Authoritarian Parenting: Do These Words Sounds Familiar to You?Tough Love and Its Effect on Kids.

If you’re a parent, you’re aware that there are a variety of different styles and approaches to parenting, and no matter which one you subscribe to, you’re wrong in someone’s eyes. We will be exploring 4 different parenting styles and how they affect children’s overall development. We’ll start with the most traditional style of parenting that has been around the longest: Authoritarian Parenting.

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Parenting Styles

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting is when parents demand high performance but do not appreciate or even respond to the performance of their children. Moreover, this type of parent forces their children into blind obedience by saying things like, 'just do as I say', or 'do not ask questions', or even that 'I am not answerable to you'.

This parenting uses strict rules with very little flexibility and lots of punishment for even the smallest of the mistakes by the child. For punishment, spanking is often employed and this type of parent is not nurturing as well. Furthermore, they are less responsive to the needs of their children.

Another indication of this type of parenting is that the child usually only listens and talks very little in front of the parent. These parents believe that the children should not be heard but seen and do not consider the child's feelings well. In this type, children do not have much room outside their rules to do something or solve a problem. Authoritarian parenting is one of the worst, if not the worst, type of parenting, and, even though it has some benefits, it mostly affects the child in a bad way. Some of these effects have been mentioned later.

Authoritative Parenting

Despite this one sounds like the authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting has a lot of major differences. Just like authoritarian parenting, these parents also demand high performances with imperfections. Moreover, they state the goals which they want their children to have, yet flexible rules as well.

Coming to the differences, these parents are far more nurturing and consider their child's feelings whenever they make decisions for them. Furthermore, the children can give their input and these parents meet up with their children regularly while also explaining the reasons behind all rules and decisions. The parents are affectionate and invest much of time and energy into forming positive behaviour and preventing any behaviour problems for their children.

Due to all these efforts, the children grow up to be more independent, happy, content, and academically successful. They also have high self-esteem, great social skills, great mental health, and are less violent as well. These children are also responsible, are more comfortable when expressing a feeling, take safe risks, and make their own security the priority. Because of all these reasons, authoritative parenting is known to be the best parenting style and every parent should try to be an authoritative parent.

Permissive Parenting

This, type of parenting is completely different from both, authoritarian and authoritative. In this one, the parent does make the rules but does not enforce them, and the parent believes that he should not interfere in the life of the child and therefore is involved with him very less. Moreover, permissive parents are allowing and step into the child's life only when he is in a severe problem.

They are also forgiving and do not use consequences much. Their rules are also not too strict and are easily forgotten. These parents are more like a friend to their children and do not put much energy into curbing poor behaviour and bad choices. The parents expect very little from the children and are very nurturing as well.

As a result of the parents' leniency, low expectations and no guidance, the children grow up to be very bad in academics, causing a lot of problems for them. Furthermore, these children will have low self-esteem and will often face sadness, depression, and despondency as well. Because no rules are there for them to follow, they may also have behaviour issues and will also have many health problems like obesity and dental issues. This is so because the parents failed to limit their junk food intake, and did not enforce habits like brushing teeth twice a day and eating less sugar.

Uninvolved Parenting

This is again one of the bad parenting styles as, in this type of parenting, the parents demand very little and provide very little responses as well, both having bad effects on the children. Neglectful parents do not clearly mention the rules and they are indifferent to their child's wants and needs. These parents are mostly depressive and may have mental issues as well, which may be due to child abuse or neglect during their childhood.

Children of neglectful parents have much freedom and do not interfere in their children's lives. Furthermore, these parents do not teach their children about discipline and do not love or nurturing as well. They do not communicate well or spend very little time with their children. While some parents intentionally follow this style, others simply are overwhelmed by their own problems to be able to give enough attention to their children.

The children from this type of parenting grow up to have extremely low self-esteem, perform badly in school, and have very poor behaviour as well. They, moreover, always feel depressed and are extremely impulsive and are unable to control or regulate their emotions and often have addiction problems as well. Children that go through uninvolved parenting also have mental and emotional issues and suicidal behaviours.

Impact of Authoritarian Parenting

Child Always Tries to Do the Right Thing and Follows the Rules Made by the Ones in Authority

One of the very few benefits of authoritarian parenting to the children is that these children always try to do the right thing, the right way. The Meaning that the children who grow up under an authoritarian parent are clearly told about the wrong and the right, and are punished if they do the wrong thing.

Because of this, these children continue to follow the right paths all through their lives. All of their decisions are based on the correct path and the wrong one. This way they are also less reactive and not impulsive. Not only do these children try to do the right thing, but they also try to follow the correct path towards accomplishing that thing.

Furthermore, they always listen to the ones in authority and do as they say, no matter how difficult the task. This particular trait also makes them peace-loving and quite, proving them to be one of the best-behaved children.

The Child Has a Very Good Behavior and Stays Goal-Oriented

Again, being a major benefit, this allows the children who go through authoritarian parenting to be lovable and even accomplished. Because only high results have been expected from these children, they set their own goals and spend as much time and effort as required for them to be able to accomplish these goals and further.

They do not just set a single goal and work madly towards it, but set several goals and work towards the other one if the first fails. This helps keep them persistent and ambitious. Moreover, they always work towards making their parents proud.

The children who have authoritarian parents are the most well-behaved children in the whole world. This is so, because, from the start, they have been punished for even the smallest of the misbehaviours and they believe that the same will happen whenever they do so.

Children are Forced to Rely on the Rules to Get to the Desired Outcome

Coming to the negatives of authoritarian parenting, the children who face this type of parenting do not have the luxury of being independent. They have been taught to always follow what their authorities say, hence making them dependent on others to make their decisions for them.

So, when they face a difficult situation, it either turns into an impossible situation for them or they are forced to ask for other people's help to get them out. Because of all this, even when they know that they have to do a particular thing, they hesitate or even not do it. They do this just because they feel that they do not have any option to do that without breaking even the smallest of the rules created during their childhood, by their authoritarian parents.

Sometimes, when there are no good or bad choices in life, they may even fall into depression or worse just because they cannot figure out the better choice because of the rules set for them. All this alters their views about society and they become close-minded because they were never allowed to be dependent.

Face Emotional Problems and Can Have Meltdowns

You probably think that children who go through this parenting are always well-behaved and emotionally and mentally strong. However, this is not the case and these children are emotionally as well as mentally weak. This is so because these children's feelings and emotions have never been taken into consideration. This forms their perspective of others being unaccepting and unrelenting.

For these reasons, all the emotions and feelings stay hidden within them, and, slowly, these form major problems for them. They stay depressed, sad, and feel a lot of sorrow all through their lives. They are told about strict standards and rules which sometimes makes them confused, adding to their previous problems and they always stay angry and sad at the same time.

Furthermore, they can also have outbreaks at certain periods of life caused by the accumulation of the emotions and feelings within themselves. So, though they are normally well-behaved, they can sometimes be extremely hard to control and can be rebellious as well.

Child's Self-Esteem Levels Drop and He Views bullying as Normal

Self-esteem is one of the most important things in order for one to be a successful person. However, if you employ the authoritarian style of parenting, it means that you will be literally bullying your own child, proving him to be somehow wrong in every part of his childhood.

Slowly, the kid will start to feel as if he is the most incompetent and that he can't do anything properly. Then, even if this is not the case, he will lose his competency and self-esteem along with it. Then, his chances of being successful will fall, making him a failure in his own eyes even more than in the others'.

And, because he is bullied regularly throughout his early life, bullying behaviour will start to seem normal to him and he will not fight with the bullies as he will see his own parents in them. This way, they will not only have a bad effect on themselves by getting bullied but will somehow be encouraging the bullies to move onto bullying more people in a worse way.

Tips to Help You Become an Effective Authoritative Parent

Be Involved in Your Child's Life But Let Him Make the Choices That He Is Able Enough to Make

This is the most essential tip if you really want your child to be near perfect once he grows up. So, you need to be involved in your child's life and teach him all the goods and bads in life. Let him know what mistakes you made so that he doesn't repeat them and tell him the importance of being loving and nurturing. Make him more competent and make little consequences that teach him little lessons of life.

However, do not employ spanking, instead, take one of their privileges for every bad behaviour, hence making them well-disciplined and a person with a nice-behaviour. You should also make clear but lenient boundaries after considering their emotions as well as their feelings. Furthermore, teach them about responsibilities and let them know that mistakes are a part of life and that no one is perfect.

Be that as it may, you should not make all their decisions for them, instead, let them be independent and allow them to make little choices as well. You may start little like what they want to eat at dinner or when they want to clean their room and move onto the bigger things in life.

Offer Incentive and Praise the Good Efforts of Your Child As Well As Their Outcomes

This again is extremely important if you want to be a good parent who grows up a loving, disciplined, and a lovable person that also performs well and is competent. By giving little rewards, you can motivate your child to do particular tasks. However, this does not mean that you get many expensive gifts for your child.

For instance, if the child does not complete his work on time, set a time and if completes his homework before the time that you set, you can give him a snack of his choice, if he does not sleep in his bed, you can give him a sticker every night that he does so, or if he wastes a lot of time in the morning, set a timer and if he gets ready before that you can allow him a sleepover at his friends' home or take him for a trip.

Also, when he does do the things correctly or at least tries, you should praise his efforts instead of scolding the result as this will help raise his self-esteem levels.

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From our editorial team

Authoritarian Parenting is Not Recommended

Children of the Authoritarian Parenting Style do turn out to be hard-working children, many of them experience a significant detriment to their development due to being a recipient of this rigid and demanding parenting style. Because of this, the Authoritarian Parenting Style is not recommended by any parenting experts.