The Different Parenting Styles
Parents are always keen to do their best for their children. It is challenging to be a good parent, and numerous aspects need to be considered when taking care of your kids. Your parenting style can have a profound impact on your child, including their mental health, emotions, personality, etc. We will discuss some of the parental styles and how they affect kids while growing up.
In this style, parents are very strict and demand a lot from their kids. The parents require complete obedience without ever considering the child's point of view. These parents are usually cold and expect full compliance with what they had said. There is a focus on punishment to make the kids fall in line with what they are told to do.
The children learn to follow the rules but do not have the emotional stability that is required from them. They could be having low self-esteem because nobody may have ever spoken anything good about them. Being like this over the years may give rise to anger and discontent.
The children also have a fundamental lack of trust and are not open to ideas and are averse to taking responsibility. The parents feel that strict rules must be enforced, but it becomes challenging for the kids when they become adults as they must exercise self-control.
These parents rely on accurate information before ever judging anything. The parents set down firm rules and even detail the reason for setting down the standards. When their child fails to stay within the set threshold, they are quick to teach their kid the right behaviour and support them to make better decisions.
An authoritative parent can be demanding but responsive at the same time. They enforce discipline by using their power, but they also encourage their kids to participate in problem-solving and encourage discussing opinions. They establish expectations from their kids but encourage communication and respond to the emotional needs of their children.
The children are assertive, have high self-esteem and have reasonable control over their emotions. They are co-operative, responsive and excel at making decisions.
The permissive parents love with few to no limits set for their children. They act as a friend to their kids, have few behavioural expectations from their kids, promote harmony with their kids and exert very little control. They rarely punish their kids.
A reason for parents to behave this way is because they had themselves lacked freedom when they were kids. Such kids have a problem in being in authority and rarely make good leaders. As such kids are prone to consuming lesser nutritious food and they are usually obese. The kids are also impulsive and are not emotional. They are also unable to manage resources at their disposal.
These parents do not provide anything for the emotional or the physical needs of their kids. They are generally disengaged from their kids, and the kids find very little guidance from their parents. The children are left alone with no limits or boundaries. The children do not have anyone to show them the ways of life. The kids cannot control their behaviour and become dependent on others. They become withdrawn and, at times, suicidal.
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Set Your Threshold
It is essential to set limits as the kids will ask for anything in front of them or in their minds. Setting some discipline in the house is necessary and will help the kids in the future. Kids must learn that there will be thresholds that they cannot cross, and they need to grow up within them.
As a parent, there must be some rules set up in the house based on all activities of the kids. It could be about the amount of time they watch television to finishing homework within a set time. Not being within the threshold could lead to loss of privileges.
While creating these thresholds, you must not clip the wings of creativity of your child. They will reach an age when they can clean the table or dress on their own. You need not be enforcing limits before they reach that age. You should let the children breathe free and should not take up battles with them all the time regarding discipline.
Teach Them to be Social
Studies show that children who were extroverts from their kindergarten days were more self-confident as adults. It is crucial to monitor whether your kids are having fun at school from their nursery days. Ask them about how they spent their day at school and ask them what they did if you took them to a party.
Always teach your kids to keep eye contact with the person they were speaking to as it will boost the level of confidence in them and make them a bit more assertive. There are particular skills that you would like your children to develop. They must learn to share and to accepting differences. It becomes a problem when siblings quarrel over something they both want. You must make both the siblings share the object they both need.
Kids must be taught to listen and not interrupt when others are speaking. They must learn how to resolve conflicts when they are a bit grown up. They must also know how to co-operate and help others. They should help you with the laundry or settling the bed every morning.
Boost Their Self Esteem
Kids start becoming aware of themselves over time. They expect to hear kind words to be spoken about them. There are numerous instances where they can be monitored, and if they do some activities correctly, you must praise their accomplishments.
When they of a certain age, they must be allowed to do a few activities on their own. It could be simple activities like brushing their teeth, settling the bed or having breakfast. On completion of the activities correctly, their actions can be praised. Even if their actions are not as expected, you need to mellow down your voice and explain how the activities could be done better.
You must not use words to admonish the child as it could have a lasting effect on them. Instead, you must talk in a softer tone and explain how they can do things better. Your child must know that mistakes can happen, but they must rectify their mistakes and work on their efforts for the future.
Focus on Positive Behaviour
A focus on positivity is essential in the upbringing of your child. When you are giving feedback about a chore well-done, you must be detailed enough when they merit positive feedback. Always be cheerful for all the activities done right during the day. You can also cheer them when you know that they put in an honest effort.
You must tell them how to become the right person, what are the traits of a good person and how others tell good about them. They must know the importance of values in life, i.e. they must be generous, kind and respectful towards others. During their growing up, identify their strengths and use it to build the self-esteem of your kids. Always tell your children to face their challenges with a positive bent of mind.
Be a Role Model
The children are young and look up to their parents as a role model. They are taking cues from your activities, and so you must be more reserved when you are with them. You must not lose your temper or talk loudly with the kids at home. They will be quick to imitate your actions.
You must have the same traits you wish to see in your children. You must be generous and kind when dealing with others. Always be friendly and exhibit selflessness. Always respect the kids and show them a positive attitude and have empathy.
The children must love the environment, and it is the parents who must show them the way. You must recycle more through your actions. Waste less water and ensure that no food is wasted. And always be truthful in front of your kids. It is one virtue the kids must imbibe.
Parents must inform their kids about the limits within which they must keep themselves. Similarly, if the kids do some activities correctly, they need to be praised. The kids must also be provided with feedback about the various activities that they do every day. When you expect them to do an activity, you must inform them what to do and what is expected of them.
You can also make the kids to be a part of your conversation and request them for ideas on how to solve a particular issue. Then discuss with them the consequences of the ideas your kids provide. The parents can improve upon the suggestions from the kids and then include the kids in the activity that needs to be carried out. Always remember that when you are communicating with the kids, they are in turn using various parts of their brain, and this improves their minds too.
Adjust Your Parenting Style
You cannot have the same parenting style throughout the child's growing years. There is a need to adjust your parenting style as your kid's mood changes. As they grow up, the needs and desires change, and the threshold that you had when they were younger also needs to change.
The kids are influenced by the environment and may wish to have something new. If they hear a negative response from you whenever they speak to you, it can hurt their minds. You need to be indulgent at times and give in to the requests of your children.
As the kids enter adolescence, they will consult their peers for advice. You, however, must continue counselling your kids and provide adequate guidance and insights wherever necessary.
Avoid Harsh Discipline
It is vital to teach discipline to your kids, but it should not come across as harsh. Your kids need to be given a positive experience. Good skills create good connections in their brains that is carried for a lifetime.
You need to know that you must control your anger and need to act as a teacher for the children. Calmly imparting discipline can soothe the kids, and they will be in a better position to grasp the reasons for being disciplined.
There are various ways to calmly tell children why their actions were wrong and how to rectify them. If you say this calmly to them, they will learn to look at you as a role model. On the other hand, authoritarian parenting is based on fear without any empathy, which is harmful to children. You must know that kids raised with harsh discipline have tendencies towards anger and to be rebellious. They also feel that being in power is correct.
Make Them Self Reliant
All parents wish their children to be independent, but little do they know that it starts by allowing them to do their activities by themselves. You should not make your children's bed or help them in having lunch after a particular age. After a specific age, children may want to do a few activities on their own. You must not take this to be a rebellion but should allow kids to have their own space.
You must know which activities must be done by the children themselves. After a particular age, the children must make their own choices for matters about them and deal with the consequences of them too. You do not want your children to fail, but unless they fail, they will not learn to overcome failures.
Know Your Parenting Limits
Just as no one is perfect, you may also make some mistakes sometimes. You have your strengths and weaknesses as an individual, and they are unique from others. Always have a threshold for yourself as well based on your strengths. Have realistic expectations when dealing with your family, and this also includes your kids. You may not have all the answers all the time and sometimes you may have to rely wholly on your intuition when dealing with your kids.
Despite your best efforts, you may be unable to handle all the aspects of your child's growth and development. Make the most of your parenting by focusing on areas that need the most attention. You need to manage your stress effectively, as it can affect your behaviour with your kids too. Find ways to manage stress and focus on your strengths and areas that need the most attention.
Don't Let Parenting Overwhelm You
Parenting is definitely an important task and every parent wants to do it well. However being a parent is still only a part of your life and your should not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by it. We hope this BP Guide would have helped you understand the different parenting styles and the important things to keep in mind while bring up children. Stay connected with us for more such engaging content.