Yes, Breakups Hurt, but the Pain Will Not Last Forever. 13 Tips on How to Get Over a Breakup and Move on with Your Life (2020)

Most of us emerge out of a breakup feeling wiser but it doesn’t take long for us to find ourselves back in the same old pattern of falling in love. After all, love is an experience that is irresistible to our brains, however, breakups are equally hard if not more. In more technical terms, a love-struck brain overflows with the happy hormones, dopamine and oxytocin whereas breakup leads to the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine.

Some might compare breakups to an emotional rollercoaster, but the truth is far from it. It does not take a scientist to know what one would feel when a relationship goes for a toss, and it is not all that different from what we experience in a physical injury. The reason why words like pain, hurt, and ache aptly describe both emotional and physical injury is because both hit the same portion of our brains and follow the same neural route. This has been backed up by research and studies arrived at by scanning the brains of people who were experiencing heartbreaks.

When we face the pain of a breakup our mind simply registers it as an emergency and forces you to choose between fight or flee. Most of the time we end up fleeing, that goes into denial which results in raised heart rate etc. You might also feel the loss of appetite, insomnia, stomach and heard aches etc.

Breakups are hard times and we often feel depressed. We tend to find ways to get back to our ex or act in a negative way be it emotional or physical. It is important to learn to get back on with your life after a heartbreak. There are many ways which can help you do just that, just be positive and focus on yourself.

Falling in love is easy but getting over a breakup is one of the most difficult tasks you'll have to face in your lifetime. Heartbreaks are always sad no matter who initiated it. There are different ways you can use to try and cope with it, and if you are going through a break up right now you can go through the list of things you can do that might help you overcome it and find the new you.

When you go through a breakup you end up feeling sad and lonely and this is the best time to reach out to the people who love and care about you. Talking can ease off a lot of pain and spending time talking can take the load off your brain. Talking with a stranger can also do the trick. You can also try and meet with your family members, join your old gang and hang out together and talk it out. Make sure you talk to people you trust. You'll be surprised to see the amount of love for you amongst the people you know.

The important thing is to focus on your qualities and not think about why your partner might have left. While it is easier said than done, the one technique that you can use is jotting down your qualities, skills and strengths that matter in a relationship. Let your friends and family contribute and tell you why they value your presence in their lives. Remember, a breakup is a fragile situation where you will be your biggest critic and find non-existent faults in yourself. Stay close to the people who love you and let them help you rebuild your self-esteem and see you for who you are not what you think you are because of a failed relationship.

This may sound weird but it is a sure-shot way of feeling better. Flowers are beautiful and they can cheer up anyone so why not yourself. Go out and get a bunch of pink roses for yourself and put them in a vase. Watch them and enjoy their beauty, tell yourself that you deserve them. You will feel much better by the time they wilt away. You can continue getting flowers of your favourite kind and put them in front of you each day until you feel better. Try it, it works.

Staying friends with an ex are not easy, even if you had mutually decided to remain friends. You will eventually find yourself tempted to call or text which could create a huge roadblock for you to fully recover from a breakup. Give yourself time to heal and overcome your emotions before deciding whether the relationship is worth continuing as friends or better left in the past. But in the meanwhile, delete your ex’s number until you are sure and in the right frame of mind to decide.

Try resetting your surroundings, move away or rearrange stuff that might trigger painful memories. A fresh start is what you need after a breakup and holding on to any keepsakes will pose a major hurdle in your road to recovery. You don’t need to throw away a treasured item, but consider keeping it away until you are ready to look at it with a smile and not a tear.

Breakups can also be looked at as an opportunity to be yourself without anyone judging you for enjoying what you love. You might have been in a relationship where you found it more convenient to let go of things you loved for the sake of your partner, but not anymore. Start doing things that you loved but compromised with to make your ex happy.

Did you know helping others can release hormones that make you feel happy and contented? Try it when you are sad and since relationships can be draining, forcing you to focus on one person and make your life revolves around that one person. What can be better than to utilise this time to lend a hand to the needy at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen, and have heart-to-heart conversations that fill your heart with warmth and empathy. Listening to the people narrate their stories might even help you look at yours from a different angle.

Another normal thing to face during a breakup is going through a rebound. A rebound occurs when you are trying to evade your feelings and avoiding to acknowledge your pain. Rebounds result in remorse and nothing good comes out of thoughtlessly rushing into such relationships. The superficial high will eventually wear off and you will be left feeling more miserable than before. Not to mention that rebounds can even leave an unsuspecting participant to be left hanging. The more mature way of handling things would be to face your pain and deal with it rather than avoid it with a rebound.

Someone rightly said books are your best friend. Since you are staying home and moping around, instead of feeling sad and depressed find a good book to read and a quiet corner in the coffee shop. You go out and breathe some fresh air and who knows you might even find yourself engaging in some meaningful conversation with a like-minded person.

Seeing a therapist was a taboo in earlier days but now it's a different thing. Spending some time with a therapist can be a good way to cope with a lot of negative feelings during a breakup. When things don’t seem to be going in the right direction, despite your efforts over time, talk to a mental health professional. Seeking help is the best thing to do rather than trying to fight it off alone. Do not let depression engulf you and talk to the right people and let the right people gently guide you out, back to yourself.

Now that we know what to do to get over a break up we also need to know what not do while you are trying to get over an ex. Here is a list of things you should not do while you are coping with a breakup.

If you are taking a break and spending some time alone at home or even with friends, then we would suggest you watch these movies. What better way to get over a breakup than to spend some time watching funny movies about breakups for a good laugh and who knows, they might even help you feel better. Here is a list of some movies that are entertaining and will help you laugh again.

Another good way to spend some time alone and not to think of your ex all the time is to read some good books. Here is a list of some books you might enjoy. Reading a book is a great time pass and you learn a lot from it. You will some great books that will help you realize how to cope up with life and it's situations.