Can't Figure Out How to Raise a Child's Self-esteem: 7 Ways to Raise a Child's Self Esteem and Some Possible Causes of Low Self-esteem?

With the increased competition, especially in the South Asian countries, people expect better performances from their children. This is particularly the case with teachers and parents who want their children to be better than all the rest of the children around them. So, when some children do not perform well, some parents tell their children that it is not good enough while others just point it out and don't say aloud. This causes stress and the performance worsens further.

However, sometimes parents are not disappointed with the children's performance but they do not say anything to praise their effort as well, leading to the children thinking that they are a disappointment for their parents. This is just as bad. This doesn't just end in bad performance but also reduced self-esteem.

Now, you may think that this one is obvious but most people don't even know what a bad effect they are having on the child when they are bullying him in the many different ways possible. In fact, there are even some parents who bully their children unintentionally. This can cause reduced performance levels and reduced self-esteem. This happens because the child starts to think that he is somewhat less than the ones bullying him.

If a child is told that he is stupid, he'll start to believe so and this will last forever. Furthermore, this doesn't just happen in schools but at home as well. Like when a child does something wrong, he is told that he is of no use or that he can't do anything properly and he starts to believe so.

People expect a child to make an effort during the tween years. But as they grow, they themselves and the people around them, expect good results and not just the efforts. When the child doesn't perform well, parents start to compare him with other children who do well, leading the child to believe that he is somewhat inferior. Then, the child himself starts to compare himself with the ones better than them. This leads to reduced self-esteem.

Another reason for reduced self-esteem can be a feeling of incompetence. This happens when a child can't make as good an effort as his pears or perform as well. However, this only leads to low self-esteem if the child performs badly in a field that he likes. For instance, if a child doesn't like science and performs badly in it, it won't affect as much as if he likes English and performs badly in that.

It is good to be there for them for everything, isn't it? This is how most people think so but they are wrong because, by being there for them all the time, you are making all their decision and not letting them be independent. This way, when they are faced with a problem that they need to solve by themselves and not with your help, they may not be able to do it and will reduce their self-esteem as well.

For this reason, you should let the children do things by themselves as much as possible. For instance, let them clean their rooms, help their siblings, spend some time alone, let them dress, and maybe even walk to school by themselves. Even if you don't feel like it, you may follow them without their knowledge for their protection. This will make them more competent, and increase their confidence levels as well as their self-esteem.

You probably think that it is wrong to take risks and that one should always play safe. However, you can never really increase the confidence levels of your children if you don't let them be independent and take healthy risks.

This way, the result may be a failure but your child will know that he tried to do something by himself. It will also teach him how the world works, because, he takes little risks throughout his life to become someone that you and he like.

If they fail, they will know one more mistake never to make again. This way, they will be able to tell themselves that they know how it feels to be independent and all these things will just increase his self-esteem.

This one is extremely important. It is so because, this will not only improve his self-esteem, increase his confidence, but also make him feel like an interesting person, and make him happy, resulting in reduced stress levels.

For these reasons, play with your child, eat with him, or have one-on-one talks with him. This way, he will know that you value his opinions or that he is a good person to talk to, making him feel more confident. During this time, you may even talk to him about what problems he faces at school or anywhere else, what he likes, what he dislikes, and what he wants to be in his life.

If he doesn't talk at first, you can teach him about the problems that you have faced and the mistakes you made so that he doesn't repeat them. Let him know how important it is to face your fears and turn them into your strengths as well. This will, moreover, bring you both closer and he will be able to share everything with you.

Teach your child that everyone is going to make a lot of mistakes in life. And that making mistakes doesn't make you a loser but making it force you back is. Tell them that no one is perfect and that mistakes simply teach you what not to do in the future, and that you should never dwell in the past and move forward and turn the failure into the biggest of successes. Teach them to try again, and again, and again till they have perfected something.

This way, they will never lose confidence when they fail, instead, they will learn and move further into further success which will simply increase their self-esteem and make them more competent. However, you should talk to them about it and not them make them feel better by buying them a new toy or ice cream. So, in short, don't just tell your child that you can't do this or smother your child with pity. Instead, teach him to improve himself and praise his effort and do more next time.

This one is extremely important because, by insulting him and calling him names, you are increasing to his stress and reducing his confidence and self-esteem. This way, he will start to believe that he is the person that you call him and that he is of no use.

For this reason, you need to teach him that no human being is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, gets into trouble and that it is the getting out of trouble part that is important. Let him know that no matter what the end result is, his hard work matters and that he needs to keep doing the particular thing till he accomplishes because that is what makes a person a winner, an accomplished person, and not a failure.

You should never say to your child that he can't do something or that he is of no use, etc. That being said, you should always keep in mind the effort that your child is making to do a particular task. So, even if he fails at it, you should praise him and show him how the effort matters and not just the end result. You should, moreover, teach them to tackle the obstacles that kept him back this time, resulting in his failure so that he does better next time. This way, he will really know that nothing is impossible and everything is achievable.

However, the praise should be honest because children can easily see through fake attempts. This will simply reduce his confidence in himself and instead of improving, he will do worse next time. So, teach them the importance of hard work and not just the accomplishment because "the journey matters more than the destination".

This is one of the most important ones because, without this one, everything else will fail. This is so because, as mentioned before, without being independent, one can never really have high levels of confidence and good self-esteem. So, let your child make his own decisions. Even if they are the wrong ones, he'll know what not to do in the future. You may start small like letting him wear what he wants and move towards the bigger things.

If you keep telling him what to do, he'll be dependent on you and his life may become a mess when you are not around to tell him what to do. You may supervise from the back but do not tell him what to do. If he gets into trouble, let him find a way out of it on his own. However, you need to make sure that whatever decision he is making is completely safe.

This may seem a little absurd and you may think that everyone does what he needs and wants, becomes what he likes. However, this is not the case most of the time. How? Well, every person has his own goals and purposes in life and is determined to do whatever possible to achieve them. This is good for them, of course. But, in doing so, they try and bend the goals of others in their lives so that they help them to achieve their goals.

People often bend their goals to what they want in order to help them. It is good to help your loved ones but not at the price of your own dreams. The ones that do try to help are usually the ones with low self-esteem. The ones with high self-esteem observe what others are advising, suggesting, or even forcing but do not just start to follow. Instead, they think what's good for them and do that thing, become that person.

People often try to do all that they can to make friends in life. Now, it is not bad to make friends. In fact, it is good because there are lots of things that you cannot achieve without good friends. However, trying to mould yourself into what they like and want you to be is not the right way to make friends.

This is what the people with low self-esteem do; they tell lies about themselves to look good, do things that they don't want to, agree with others when they actually do not and show yourself as knowledgeable about everything when you really are not.

The ones with high self-esteem, however, do what they like and tell what they want and not pretend to be someone that they are not while hoping that others like them. It doesn't really matter to these children what others want from them and live their lives as they want to.

People with low self-esteem never take risks or try new things because they fear that they may become a failure by not being able to accomplish it. This way, they never really get ahead in life and continue living the same old life filled with fear or losing.

The people with high self-esteem, on the other hand, look at these new challenges as opportunities to rise in the ranks and become a better, more accomplished person than now. They believe that even if they do lose, they will come out as a more knowledgeable person and will have learned one more lesson in life, will know about one more mistake not to make again.

This way, they can take risks and really live their life, instead of merely spending it. This makes them the person they want, a free person doing what he wants, and not worrying about losing or what others might think of him if he does a particular thing.