Managing Your Anger is Critical for Your Health. Important Tips on How to Control Your Anger Plus 4 Great Apps to Calm Your Inner Self (2020)

A human experiences so many different emotions and one of the very prominent emotion or feeling is anger. Everyone feels angry and as a matter of act being angry is sometimes good, it lets you let out your steam and feel better, but then there should be a limit for everything. Anger if gone out of control can be very dangerous for you, as well as the people around you. Although anger is a natural emotion but it is important to understand it completely and learn to cope with it and control it. Anger can also be a secondary emotion leading to sadness or loneliness.

It is also important to know that anger can trigger physical changes which can lead to increased heart rate, blood pressure and levels of hormones. It prepares an individual for a 'fight or flight' situation. Different people experience anger in different ways and levels and most of the time it comes when you feel you are being mistreated, or being opposed or things are going against the way you hoped. Different people also experience anger for different time span; some of you may get angry on everything and while others may seldom get angry. It is believed that getting angry fifteen times a day is normal.

Another thing you need to understand about anger is that it can be either constructive or destructive. Anger can help you get motivated and initiate an action if you see something going wrong, whereas when gone out of control you may get violent. An uncontrolled anger can put you at risk of early death or can make you socially isolated.

Let us look at some of the symptoms of anger issues. Some common symptoms are that it can affect your relationships and social life, having negative thoughts about yourself or others, feeling impatient and hostile, getting physically violent when feeling angry, threatening people, destroying things or feeling depressed all the time.

Every one of you experiences anger differently and each of you have different triggers. A trigger is something that brings on an uncontrollable wave of anger which might lead to unwanted and unfortunate situations. If you are keen on knowing how to handle anger then you need to know some common triggers. This will help you recognize if you feel anger coming and overpowering you:

If you think you might be having an anger problem or someone you know needs help with it, here a few things you can learn or teach them to control their anger and avoid getting into unwanted situations.

it is very normal for a person to start using very abusive language when he gets angry. The main objective of an angry person is to hurt you emotionally or physically and often emotional abuse comes first. If you feel anger rising within yourself due to a situation, always think before you utter a word. It is said that an arrow and your words can never be brought back once they have reached their target. You might end up saying things you will regret later on, therefore, always take a few moments and collect your thoughts before you say anything when you are angry. It will save you a lot of sadness later on.

If you feel that anger is becoming a regular emotion in your life and you are not able to control it then you need to seriously think about keeping an anger log for yourself. Monitoring your anger will help you see the level of anger you experience and it might also help you find out what triggers it. Write down each episode and how long it was for. You can use a scale of 1-10 (where 0 = no anger, and 10 = maximum rage) to determine the level of anger you felt at each moment. You can also write down the thoughts you have during these episodes, like if you want to kill someone or destroy things or simply go for a run. This will help you realize the level of problem you have and then choose on how to deal with it.

There could be a million reasons why you might feel angry. It is alright to feel angry if you see something unethical or unfair happening in front of you, but if you don't know why you had a sudden episode on anger then it may be a problem. Try and think about each time you were angry. It could be pressure at work or in a relationship, it could also be mood swings due to hormonal changes or you may be frustrated with how your life is turning out, etc. If you are able to see why you are angry then it will help you deal with it emotionally and physically.

When some of you get angry you may get into a heated argument and try to win it but it always ends up in a worse condition. The best thing you can do is to take a step back when you feel anger rising in you. If you are angry at your boss, instead of getting into an argument leave the room, go for a walk, take a coffee break and calm down. Talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are not running away from the situation but are taking a mature way out. Later on when you are cooler you should go back and have a constructive conversation on the matter, and deal with the things in a better way.

An angry person is usually very stressed out and simple relaxation tools can help him/her calm down. You can use deep breathing techniques and relax yourself within seconds. A simple way of doing this is to breathe deeply from your diaphragm because breathing from your chest will not solve the problem. You can also remember a couple of phrases like "take it easy", "chill out", etc. or use pleasant music or images to calm your nerves.

Although it may seem like a good idea to shout, kick or throw things when you are angry or to say things that are hurtful to other people, but it is not a good idea. The best thing is to calm yourself down and then talk to the person you are angry with. Confront him/her with whatever the issue is but in a non-confrontational way. Tell him/her your concern without using hurting words and he/she will understand you completely.

It is alright to feel angry but it is not acceptable to act upon it when you are angry. Anger kills the problem-solving skills as well as your judgment-making skills. It is said that fear makes you want to flee from the situation but anger makes you aggressive and confrontational. Anger can make you revengeful and you will end up doing or saying things you will regret for sure. So the next time when you are angry at your co-worker write an email but don't hit send. Sit on it for a day, read it and you will end up deleting most of the things you have written in it. If you are angry with your partner, go to bed angry and you will be amazed to see a much better view of the situation the next morning.

Communication is the best therapy. When you are angry and are not able to control it, call a friend or someone you trust, someone you know who can guide you towards a positive direction rather than instigating your anger. Talking with someone you care will help you relax and that person might be able to show you a better way to deal with the situation. There are many different forums that are available where you can call and talk to experts who will listen, guide you and make you feel better.

If anger is getting to be a regular problem for you and you are not able to handle it yourself then you can always get professional help. There are experts who can help you deal with it. Some of you may think that going for help will make other people think that you are going crazy but that is not the case at all. Professionals are highly trained in dealing with people who have different issues and can help you get better. They may refer you to a doctor and see if you have any physical problems or mental issues that are making you get angry all the time. Things like PTSD or depressive disorders can cause anger. These problems can be treated by therapy or medications. Don't be afraid for reaching out for help to keep yourself and your loved ones safe from your anger.

Here are 4 great apps that you can download on your phone and access them every time you feel angry. These apps will help you calm down, relax and save you from getting into a sticky situation.

Calm is a great app for meditation and sleep. People around the globe use this app to lower stress and anxiety. It has great guided meditations, sleep stores and breathing programs which relax you within minutes. The meditation sessions start from 3 minutes to about 25 minutes, therefore, you can choose which one you need at the moment. These sessions are on things like deep sleep, managing stress, happiness, relationships, forgiveness, self-esteem, etc. The app also has a 10-minute program with helps you relax right before you go to bed. These sessions are guided by world-class experts who teach you breathing techniques. It also has more than 30 soothing nature sounds to help you fall asleep. It is a free app therefore feel free to download it and start using it today.

Another good app you can use is Talkspace. You can reach out to licensed therapists and talk to them via text, audio or video. This app is a subscription service and you pay US$ 65 (about ₹ 4,800.00) per week to use it. It gives you unlimited messaging and you can also use live video to talk to the therapists. It is a great app through which you can reach out for help and get rid of the feelings of depression, anxiety, substance use, stress, etc.

Breathe2Relax is a stress management tool. It comes with body instructions and practise exercises to keep you calm and help you learn to manage your anger. It teaches you the correct way of breathing through your diaphragm which decrease the body's fight or flight response. It also helps in stabilising your mood and controls your anger. You can simply download it and use it whenever you feel the need. This app is also recommended by healthcare professionals as it is very effective.

Another great app for stress and anxiety is Pacifica. It has a number of different tools to help you. You can opt for mindful meditation programs and relaxation techniques when you feel agitated. It helps you control your thoughts and eases out the anger in you. You can also track your emotions through the journal offered in the app. You can download the app for free but will have to pay a subscription fee to use it.

Some great features of the app are that it lets you keep track of your mood and shows your how your mood improves or gets worse. It also teaches you positive visualisation exercises with calming sounds to help you feel better.